Monday, November 3, 2008

Vague Sound of Rain

I haven't stopped crying for over a week.
Whether they were visible tears or not, they were there.
They are still there.
And tonight I sat outside on a log in the pouring rain for an hour and just let the tears flow.
I didn't even care that i'm trying to get over a cold.
I just needed to be out there.
To sob as loud as I could and just let the sound of the rain drown out everything.
To let my tears fall freely alongside raindrops on my cheek.
I know that everyone who reads this will be worried and ask me all kinds of questions about what is wrong.
But I don't want to answer them.
Just know that something is wrong.
And while I know it will all be fixed very soon and that everything really will work out for the best, right now it just really sucks and just really hurts and i'm going to just cry.
My arms and legs probably feel like icicles but I don't even care.
I feel numb.

Sorry this is so vague and depressing.


Anonymous said...

I always cry in the shower- it's a little warmer and it will work out for the best, this is just a little embarrassing hiccup that just doesn't matter in the big scheme of things. It'll never be a joke that you can laugh at, but the pain will go away.

K. said...

Although I think I can laugh about most anything, Laura's right, and the pain will go away. Remember I got your back whatever you decide- and if you need me to tell dad he's being a jerk, just say the word (and I'll tell Laura to do it, she's better at it).