Yeah yeah

Yes....
I am aware that the title of my blog is Mrs. Odasso and that I won't be Mrs. Odasso for another 6 days.

However, since I am always too lazy to change my blog, I figured I might as well do it now while i'm super bored before I never get around to it, you know?

Here comes the bride...

I really wanted to post yesterday, but between then hours long drive, listening to Eclipse, and doing 360's on the highway due to ice, I didn't have much time.
The reason I wanted to post yesterday is because, well, it was exactly ONE WEEK until Brad and I get married!
Of course, now it's only 6 days, which is even better.
It's hard to contain my excitement.
Brad and I mention it every chance we get.
I bring it up in relief society, on facebook and myspace, in casual conversation, everywhere!
I can't even fathom how wonderful our life is going to be after January 3rd.
Brad is the most amazing man i've ever met, and I know he's going to be even more amazing as a husband, and someday, as a father.

We're up in Idaho right now, staying with my brother.
The snow is INSANE and I want to get out as soon as possible, but i've got to meet with my branch president in the next couple days to talk about what's going to happen in the temple, and after that, we'll take off on our journey to eternity.
Cheesy, I know. Haha.
Anyway, We'll get to Vegas on Friday, get married on Saturday, stay in Vegas a few days, then drive down to D-Town for the reception the following Saturday.
Then, sadly, it's back up here.
Though, i'm really not too bummed about living in Rexburg.
I'll be living with Brad and that's all that matters.

Christmas was nice.
Brad and I hung out at my parents house and just played games and watched movies and all around chilled.
I got a lot of weather related presents, so obviously my family knows my distaste for cold weather.
Two pairs of cozy socks, slippers, a down comforter, thermals, and an electric heater.
At least i'll stay warm here!
I would list my other presents, but that's not really what Christmas is about, so yeah.
I will say that I lvoe having Christmas with family.
Even though my little sister was being a huge snot the whole day, it was still nice to sit around early in the morning and just enjoy each others company.
I'm so excited to be starting my own family VERY soon!
Even if it does only include me and Brad.

Other than these big events, not much has happened.
Went and saw The Curious Case of Benjamin Button.
It was pretty good, so I would recommend it.
Had my first pap smear.
That was an experience.
Moving into Brad and I's new apartment hopefully tomorrow.
I'll sleep over there and unpack stuff while Brad will probably keep sleeping at my Brother's for a couple nights until we drive back down for the wedding.
:D

Yeah, I know....

I haven't posted in about 22 days.
It's insane.
Truly.
I've never really gone this long.
But I have probable cause!
Lol.
When I was living at Karen's, her internet RARELY ever worked, and when it did, it was generally only for a minute or two at a time.
Most of the time, though, I was working or something.
Anyway, I suppose I should update you all on what's been going down.

I quit my job at Sams Club.
My last day was the 15th.
I know that I didn't work there very long and that I probably shouldn't have even considered giving up a job in this economy, but not having it will make my life so much easier.
Because I quit, I was able, with Brad, to come down to California for a little bit!
Which is where I am now.
I packed up all my stuff, moved out of Karen's, put some things in storage, and Brad and I took off.
We stopped in Utah on the way down to stay with Jenna and Travis.
I also picked up my wedding dress on the way down, so there's one less thing I have to worry about.
Since we've been down here, we've done a lot of nothing.
Lot's of shopping, I guess, to Brad's dismay, but we've been fairly lazy overall.
Tonight we worked on Favors for the reception, and once Christmas is over, it'll be easier to work on more wedding plans and decorations and what not.
11 days!
Unfortunately, we've got to head back up to Idaho on Saturday, which is kind of lame, but will be worth it.
I'm going to be meeting with my stake president for my temple recommend, and then meeting with my branch president to discuss everything that will happen in the temple, so it's pretty exciting.
Then I'll move into our new apartment and start moving stuff in there and Brad will probably just stay with my brother or something.
Then we'll head down to Vegas on the first or second, get married on the third, then spend the next few days in Vegas in pure wedded bliss.
Lol.
Then we'll just drive down to DHS and have the reception on the 10th, then back up to Idaho.
Oh joy. (There is a hint of sarcasm there just because Idaho is too freaking cold for me and I don't really want to live there.)

So that's really all that's been going on.
See, if I had been blogging continuously, you probably would have been bored.
:)

Liar Liar? Lol.

So, I told Brad that I was going to sleep right now, when in reality i'm going to blog as a surprise!
Why is it a surprise you ask?
Because this entire post is dedicated to him!
It is going to be one giant list of reasons why I love him!
So if you're not cool with the mushy gushy stuff, you might want to avoid this particular blogging experience.
Or you can read on and see for yourself just how amazing Brad is!
:D

• First and foremost is his spirit. He has such faith and belief in not just religious things like Heavenly Father and the gospel, but in everything. His spirit shines through in everything he does.
  
• He's so freaking caring! I've never been one to let other people take care of me. Most of my life I was rather independent, believe it or not. But Brad cares so much for me and my well-being and everything, and I don't mind!
  
• His eyes. I always knew I would fall for a guy with blue eyes. "Cause Blue Eyes, you're all that I neeeeeed!" Lol.
• The way one little section of his hair stands straight up after he's slept on it or after I run my fingers through it too much. Not only does it show the more real, less polished "Brad," it's just cute.
• His voice. How he sings all the time. How he sings to me. How he sings loudly in the car. How he sings all the different parts in the hymns.
  
• His talent at easy-to-make "Box Meals" and "Pasta Sides." Lol. Yummy!
• He's just so darn funny! And it's not an obvious funny. Most people probably wouldn't catch a lot of things, but subtle things he says and does that he doesn't even mean to be funny... those things make me laugh.
• He is so unbelievably geeky. You don't even know. It makes me feel better about myself because people think that I'M geeky. Lol.
  
• How chill he is. Even though it can get me frustrated when he never makes any decisions and I always have to choose what to do, it's nice that because of this, it never creates any arguments or conflicts.
• Speaking of which, we never argue! Sure, he's made me mad or sad or cry or whatever a couple times, but never really intentionally. Honestly, I know some people who probably will never believe that it is not possible for me to argue because it's just in my nature. I always like Debate. But with Brad, we never argue. Not seriously. Maybe about nasty fat milk versus delicious skim milk, but that's it.
• His hands are so soft! All the time!
• How he scares me when he drives. It's like nice little adrenaline rushes, but still knowing that i'm safe because i'm with him.
  
• How he holds my hand everywhere we go.
• Pretty much the only thing he doesn't like about me is my vast amount of shoes. And I mean, what can I do about it? Nothing! I have to have my shoes!
• He totally will watch chick flicks with me. And like them.
• He will go shopping at 7 in the morning with me on the busiest shopping day of the year.
• We have the same size feet and hands. I know this sounds like a strange one, but I love it! I love my humongo feet and man-hands, and the fact that Brad shares them with me is amazing!
• I know this is classic cheesy girly stuff, but how he tells me i'm beautiful all the time. I mean, Brad has seen me when i've looked BAD. Like nasty, frizzy, gross, smelly bad. And he'll just look me straight in the eye and tell me i'm the most beautiful woman in the world. And even though I call him a liar everytime, it's still a nice thought. Haha.
• He has more music on his computer than me. And that is seriously a huge feat right there.
  
• He hurts when I hurt and because I hurt. That someone could care so much for me that it hurts them just because i'm in pain is so incredible. That's when you know it's love. I heard this in a movie or something, but it was like, "You know it's true love when you care more for the well-being of another person more than for yourself" or something like that.
• He's so cuddly!
• I love when we kiss while he's driving! I know this doesn't sound safe, and it really isn't at all, but kissing him while he's got both hands on the wheel and one eye on the road is such a rush! Lol!
• How he thinks all the dumb little things I do are cute. I always just thought they were dumb. Guess not. Haha.
• How he lets me fall asleep on him.
• How our whole relationship is based on Lego Star Wars. :D
• We never ever get bored of each other. I would give anything to spend every single SECOND with Brad for the rest of eternity. I mean, we would seriously never have to part. It would be amazing.
• He cooks with me!
• He's a computer/internet junkie, which is just perfect for me!
• How he really does always seem to know the right then to say and when to say it. It kind of amazes me at how accurately he seems to understand just what it is I need to hear and when I need to hear it, whether he realizes it or not.
• How he plays the piano. Screw the whole "Guys who play guitar are sexy" thing. Break me off a piece of that piano player!
• How he;s listening to Twilight! He went and saw the movie with me and I kept trying to get him to read the books too, but he doesn't really ever have time to read, so he downloaded the audio books and we listened to em last week! He finished the first and the second one already and is currently downloading the third one! And he seems to like em, which is pretty sweet. Brad is SO my Edward.
• He'll watch movies with me all day if I asked him too. I LOVE movies and most people think i'm crazy because I can watch movie after movie for the entire day, but Brad will totally sit around and watch with me!
  

So, I was planning on this being WAY longer, but my eyes are starting to get droopy, and even though I have tons more floating in my head right now, I really am about to fall asleep, so i'll post this for now and update the rest tomorrow.
I love you Brad!
For time and all eternity.
<3

Caution: LONG post.

So, I realize I haven't blogged in two weeks...
Sorry!
I was just pretty busy, and then I was gone all last week and didn't take my lappy, so there ya go.
Anyways, this blog is dedicated to my latest vacation.

It started last Sunday.
After tithing settlement/check up on the marriage thing with my branch president, Brad and I set out on our journey.
We drove to Orem, Utah to stay with Jenna and Travis for the night, listening to Twilight on Brad's ipod on the way.
We got there, I think we ate some food, and then just went to sleep pretty much.
We decided to leave around 9 the next day, hoping to be in Desert Hot Springs, SoCal by 7ish.
So, we started driving.
About 4 hours later, Twilight stopped working.
Apparently, the second half of the file was corrupted or something, so we were stuck listening to the few songs Brad had on his ipod.
Along the drive, I of course, being the more adventurous one, wanted to stop at different places and look around, go for walks, etc...
But Brad, being the dull one (I love you Brad!) just wanted to drive straight down there, so there was a lot of sitting.
Anyway, on to more interesting things.
We got into my home town around 8, I think (after missing the turn outside Vegas so we could take the back roads. We ended up having to take the freeway and deal with traffic. Bleh.) and just kind of chilled at my parents house.
We ate a little bit of food my dad had made, watched whatever movie was playing on T.V. and pretty much just sat around and did a lot of nothing, apart from going to Walmart in the evening and just walking around.
It was nice after I had been working so much.
So then on Tuesday, we went and saw the movie Bolt with my little sister (which was super cute bytheway!), we probably played some Bloons Tower Defense (I can't really remember what we did. It was so long ago!).
Wednesday was Knotts Berry Farm day!!!
We left around 8:30 and got there soon after.
It was super sweet because it was kind of drizzly outside, and it was a Wednesday, so the park was practically empty!
Which meant no lines for rides!
For those who know me well, they know that Knotts Berry Farm is seriously my favorite theme park ever, so obviously it was a fun day.
For the most part.
I'll get to the negative later.
Basically, Brad and I went on every single ride we wanted to, ate funnel cake and drank boysenberry punch, and won some stuffed animals of course.
When the day was done and we were all pretty tired, my parents too us all (Brad, me, my little sister and her boyfriend) out to dinner at this restaurant we used to go to when I was younger called PoFolks.
It's super yummy and they give you TONS of food.
The drive home was nice.
Watched a movie.
Once we got home, however, is when the trouble started.
My stomach had been hurting for a little bit on the drive back, but once we got home it was way worse.
Brad and I were laying down on one of the beds in the RV, waiting for my sister and nieces to finally arrive, and my stomach just kept feeling worse and worse.
My mom soon came out and told me that they had arrived, and when I got up from the bed, I knew something bad was about to happen.
Sure enough, I got in the house and ran straight to the bathroom.
It had been so long since I had puked, I had forgotten how terrible it really is.
I sat with my head on the toilet seat for a while, occasionally leaning my head so more vomit could come out.
It was seriously disgusting.
The worst part?
I could see bits of funnel cake in there.
Anyway, once I thought I was finished, I cleaned myself up and went to go see my nieces for a bit.
Once they were put to bed, I realized how tired I was and got up from the couch to head to the cot my mom had set up for me in my sister's room.
Once again, I ran to the bathroom and spent a bit more time in there.
I then went to the kitchen, grabbed the giant yellow bowl, my mom gave me a water bottle, and I laid in my cot, writhing in pain and not able to fall asleep (not all because of the pain though. My brother-in-law had brought Rock Band with him, so everyone was playing it nice and loud.)
Thursday was a little better.
Brad and I woke up super early and started our drive to Las Vegas.
He had resolved the Twilight problem, so we listened to some more of it.
Once in Vegas, Brad and I went right to the hotel his mom and sisters were staying in.
We visited for a bit with his mom, dad, and sisters, and then took off to Southe Pointe for the Thanksgiving Day buffet.
The line was long and the turkey was dry, but overall, I left "smiling and satisfied" (That's what she said. Thanks Jim! Lol.)
Later, we went over to some outlets down the street and just walked through it, going through a couple random stores and not buying anything.
Friday was BLACK FRIDAY!
Of course, I dragged Brad out early in the morning (Not too early. We left a little after 7) and hit up Frys.
Most of the super good stuff was already gone, but we left with a wireless router for 15 bucks, an external hard drive for me for 70, and a couple laptop cooling pads for just 3 bucks each.
We ate some food in the little cafe they had in Frys, a couple breakfast croissants, so we were set for some more shopping!
B y the time we left Frys, it was already 9:30ish, so we didn't get to Walmart around 10.
I knew all the Kitchenaids for just 130 would be gone already, but I figured there might be some good deals left.
Luckily enough, there were tons of movies for sale!
So naturally, my movie purchasing instincts kicked in, and I bought 6 movies, all for 20 dollars!
Though I also bought Yahtzee for 5 bucks.
Later in the day, we went over to an old friend of Brad's family and visited with her and her kids for a while.
After that, we just played computer games.
Saturday was the day we were leaving, so we packed up everything in the morning and cleaned up the rooms a bit, then left a little bit before 10.
This time, I made Brad stop along the way.
:D
We stopped in St. George and got some food at McDonalds and drove past the temple to take a couple pictures.
I also made sure we got out and walked around whenever we would get gas.
We also finished Twilight and started New Moon.
We decided to stay the night at my Aunt's house in Alpine and got there around 6.
We had dinner with them and played more Bloons, obviously.
Then my brother came by, because he too was staying the night there on his way back to Idaho, and we all visited for a bit before hitting the sack.
We got up Sunday morning and got ready for church and had some pancakes for breakfast.
We then went to church, got back, ate some lunch, played more Bloons, and then Brad and I left a bit after 2.
We stopped in Salt Lake and walked around Temple Square, took some more pictures, when through the visitors centers, and tried to get up to the roof of the conference center, but the only was to do that was to take a tour, and we didn't really have time for one, so we walked around the part of the roof that was accessible to the public.
Then we just drive straight on back to Idaho, got all unpacked, I made myself and Brad some dinner, and then out vacation was basically officially over.

It still sucks to think that Brad and I could have been married right now.
We could have been married for almost a week now.
But I know everything happens for a reason.
And January 3rd is only a month and 2 days off, so i'm sure out patience will be worth it.

In other news, just briefly, I should be hearing back from the HR director at Flagg Ranch Resort sometime this week, and hopefully she'll be delivering good news.
I would LOVE for Brad and I to work up in Yellowstone for the summer for a few reasons:
First, I've never been to Yellowstone and have always wanted to go. I love nature and hiking and camping and stuff, so it should be fun.
Second, what a perfect way for Brad and I to get closer during our first year of marriage! Working together, in a somewhat isolated environment.
And Third, internet access is very limited. I know this would normally sound more like a con than a pro coming from me, but I'm excited to not have access to the world wide web every second of the day. There is only internet in the rec room and only on their computers, so if all the comps are busy, you're out of luck. I just feel like Brad and I have become completely consumed in being online, that we haven't had as much "chill and talk" time as we used to. As I mentioned in my second perk, I want to spend that time getting closer to Brad, and it will be a whole lot easier without laptop screens in front of our faces constantly.

That's pretty much it.
I would have posted some pictures from our trip on here, but I'm still trying to get everything on my external hard drive and I don't want to mess anything up by trying to load pictures on here.
I'll put some up on Facebook soon though, so be on the lookout!

Lights Out

Not really much to report.
Brad and I actually hung out with people on Friday!
We had a little mini-casual dinner thing on Friday night which was pretty fun.
We ate pizza and played Apples to Apples.

Saturday, Brad, Ana, my brother Paul and I all went to Big Juds in the morning.
Brad and I shared a regular Big Jud, while Ana had a small hamburger and my brother ordered a Double!
He wasn't very hungry to being with though, so he only got through half of it.
Then I had to work for pretty much the entire rest of the day.
Work wasn't too bad though, for a saturday.
After that, Brad and I just sat in my room and watched the newest episode of The Office, Smallville, and SVU.
Lol.
We rarely watch TV, so it was pretty different.
Then I went down to Rexburg this morning and went to church with Brad since my branch was having stake conference.
Then we just kind of chilled.
Ate some pasta.
And now we're sitting in my room watching a movie.
Sadly, I have to work from 9:30-5:30 tomorrow, so our evening will have to be cut short, which sucks.

Anyway, that's really about it.
I'm really starting to be ok with the whole "Having to postpone the wedding" thing.
It really has relieved some stress and gives me more time to get things ready without having to be super quick about it.
Though, honestly, I would get married to Brad tomorrow if I could.
But it's cool.
I can be patient to marry the love of my life.
:D

Let the rain fall...

It's been so rainy up here lately, and I LOVE it!
I don't even care that it's so cold, I simply love rain.
Growing up in a rainless desert for my entire life probably contributed to this love, though I seem to hate snow, but there's just something so peaceful and calming about rain.
The other night, Brad wasn't able to come down to Idaho Falls, and Karen and the kids were out, so I was home alone.
It was raining pretty hard outside, and even though it was about 35 degrees outside, I opened up my window, turned off my music and any other noise in the apartment, and just listened.
I love listening to the rain and I can never get enough of it.
Anyway, it's supposed to continue to rain for the next week or so, so i'm pretty excited.

Work is going well.
I still seem to be coming home super sore, and i've been there almost a month now, but hopefully it will go away eventually.
I know it doesn't seem like being a cashier would make you sore or require any kind of physical strain at all, but you haven't been a cashier at Sam's Club.
It's intense. Lol.

January 3rd is fer shiz the wedding date, though the reception is still up in the air.
If we can get married earlier in the morning, we might be able to have the reception that night, but otherwise, Brad and I might just have to fly down to DHS the following weekend for a reception.
I still plan on going down to D-town for Thanksgiving though, so perhaps i'll have an engagement party or something else somewhat traditional like that.

There's really not much else going on.
Brad is amazing as usual.
I'm as cold here in Idaho as usual.

Oh, and Laura, if you're reading this, that last video of Avery was the cutest thing ever.
I miss Jordyn and Avery so much!!!!!

I think that possibly, maybe i've fallen for you

I probably shouldn't be blogging right now since i've got to head out for work super soon, but I just haven't updated in like, 5 days, so I figured it was time to do so.

Even though nothing is really going on.

It was great to see my family over for the weekend, even if only for a brief period of time.
I put my wedding dress on hold and put a "deposit" down on it.
If everything goes right today, then to my relief, Brad and I will be getting married on January 3rd.
And in case you're wondering, yes, this is what I was so sad about.
Through a series of unfortunate events, Brad and I had to postpone our wedding and we had no idea what we were going to do.
We didn't know how we were going to get married or when or where and everyone was pulling us in different directions.
It was pretty upsetting.
Anyways, Brad is calling the Las Vegas temple today to re-schedule our time and if January 3rd is open, then that will be the for sure date.
I'm glad that all the bad stuff is over.

Besides that, i've just been working a bunch.
I get money, then have to use it right away, so i'm still not feeling the rewards or money-earning, but i'm sure it will come.
My dad even had my brother give me 200 dollars last Friday, and I immediately stuffed it all into a tithing envelope, since i've been way behind on it all year.
My paycheck from 2 weeks ago went to rent and gas.
It's all pretty lame.
Brad paid my car insurance for me.
But everything will be fine.
If I had more money, I know I would spend it on useless stuff anyways.

Ok. Now i've seriously got to leave for work.
I might update later today.

Ooh-tah

Well, work was SUPER long today!
I know, I only worked for 8 hours, minus half an hour for lunch, but still!
8 hours on your feet or moving and lifting crap while saying over and over again "Hello! How are you doing today? Did you find everything alright? Good!"
Geh.
Oh well.
It's money!
Lol.
And thankfully Jesse worked for most of the day, which was good.
Because Brittany and Ashley just don't seem to like me at all.
Wendy was there in the morning too, which was good.
At least half of my supervisors are good.
Lol.
Also, I had my first "mean" customer today.
He wasn't so much mean as he was a little bit rude and ornery.
Let me explain:
He had two separate transactions.
One for his business and one for himself.
So I rang up the purchases for his business and he slid his card through.
It didn't work.
I asked him very kindly to slide it again, sometimes the cards jsut don't take the first time.
But again, it was denied.
I asked him if he was using a Visa card, and he said yes.
I explained to him that unfortunately, Sams Club doesn't accept Visa charge, only debit.
So he told me that it wasn't a credit card, that it was supposed to take the money right out of his checking account.
So, since this sounds a LOT like debit, I asked him to try and run it as Debit.
Then he tells me that he doesn't have a pin number and that he's never needed a pin number to use the card before.
So he slides the card again and it automatically comes up as credit, which of course, wouldn't work because it was Visa.
So i'm pressing as many buttons as I know and nothing is working.
So I explain to him AGAIN, that without a pin number, the card would run as credit, and we don't accept Visa for credit!
He then says "Do you have a manager I can speak with?" somewhat rudely.
Luckily Jesse was walking by right then, so I called him over.
Both the man and myself explained the situation to Jesse and alas, Jesse said the exact same thing to the man that I had said.
The man proceeds to repeat himself over and over "I use this card all the time. Everywhere. I never needed a pin. Blah blah blah."
So finally he just uses his other freaking card which he did actually have a pin for.
Then I rang up his second set of purchases, apologized again for any inconvenience, and smiled as he walked away because he was finally gone!
Anyways, all in all, I do NOT like rude customers.
So, to everyone out there in blog world, PLEASE be nice to cashiers!
Generally, we know what we are talking about and there really is nothing we can do some some situations.
And if there is something we don't know, we'll call our supervisor over.
You don't need to ask to speak to one.
Seriously.

Anyways, in other news, no work tomorrow!
Imma head down to Utah!
Woo!
Brad is most likely coming with me, since i know he doesn't like me going anywhere alone, so it should be fun.
It's my cousin's Mission Farewell, and even though I won't be able to stay till Sunday, it should still be fun.
My aunt has a "Girl's Night" tomorrow night, where two of my aunts and my girl cousins, and then my mom and sister, who are driving up, are going to be doing crafts or something, so that should be tons of fun!
And it'll give Brad time to bond with the men in my family.
Lol.
Then hopefully my mom and I, along with my little sister and probably my Aunt Katherine can go wedding dress shopping on Saturday morning.
I've got to work 1:30-close on Saturday unfortunately, so we'll have to leave pretty early in the day, which kind of stinks.
But oh well.
I've got be back for church on Sunday anyways since i've got a meeting with the Branch President Sunday afternoon.
I would just call in sick to work on Saturday so we wouldn't have to leave until the night, but since I called in sick LAST saturday because of my stinking cold, I can't just do it again.

Also, McDonalds monopoly is over and i'm pretty bummed.
Oh well.
There's always next year!
:D

Lo Siento

I don't like blogging when people are around.
And while Brad isn't just some person, I just like to blog when i'm alone!
And since i've either been at work or with Brad pretty much every second of the day, I haven't been able to blog much.
And with the depression and all, I couldn't find it in me.
But i'm ok now.
Sometimes I just need some time for things to be set in.
And having to comfort someone else usually snaps me out of myself too.
Anyways, I wish I could blog and tell everyone what's going on, but once you blog it, it just seems official.
And since nothing is set in stone right now and still up for change, I won't say anything.

Besides the MAJOR thing going on in my life right now, nothing's really been going on.
Work is going alright.
It's getting harder to go everyday, just because I know I could be spending that time with Brad.
But I really do need the money.
And it gives me something to do while Brad is in classes or whatever.

Money is seriously TIGHT right now.
I'm paying rent to Karen tonight, so there goes 200 of my current 249 dollars.
Then i've got car insurance due TOMORROW.
That's 91 dollars.
And if you can't do math, let me help you.
After rent, i've got 49 buckaroos.
So where i'm getting money for car insurance, I have no idea.
One good thing, my dad FINALLY got the deposit back from where I was going to live in Rexburg before my suspension, and he said I could have it, so once I find time, I can head down to Rexburg and pick up a good hundred bucks.
Which, if I get it tomorrow, I'll have money for insurance!
But then there's the whole 2 speeding tickets thing which I should probably take care of pretty soon.
One's for 232 and the other is for 140.
Then, just to further my monetary complaints, gas.
Luckily gas prices have gone down a bit and I don't really drive anywhere but to work.

Ok.
I'll stop boring you with my whining.
Prop 8 passed, which is good.
And no, it's not me hating on gays.
it's not even my religious beliefs.
It's the numerous stories of parents whose children in elementary school and below are ebign taught about sex, gay and straight, without any kind of parental consent.
I mean, sure, I don't have children yet, but when I do, I don't want my 5 year old learning about boy and girl sex, let alone boy and boy sex!
That's my job!

Anyways, I think that's about it.
I should head down to Walmart and cash my check.

Vague Sound of Rain

I haven't stopped crying for over a week.
Whether they were visible tears or not, they were there.
They are still there.
And tonight I sat outside on a log in the pouring rain for an hour and just let the tears flow.
I didn't even care that i'm trying to get over a cold.
I just needed to be out there.
To sob as loud as I could and just let the sound of the rain drown out everything.
To let my tears fall freely alongside raindrops on my cheek.
I know that everyone who reads this will be worried and ask me all kinds of questions about what is wrong.
But I don't want to answer them.
Just know that something is wrong.
And while I know it will all be fixed very soon and that everything really will work out for the best, right now it just really sucks and just really hurts and i'm going to just cry.
My arms and legs probably feel like icicles but I don't even care.
I feel numb.

Sorry this is so vague and depressing.

Too much exposition

Ok Jenna.
And everyone else.
NO NEED TO WORRY.
My Facebook status' can be a little ominous sometimes, I know.
And I can also be over-dramatic.
Or just impatient I suppose, in this case.
In brief, to at least satisfy some people's craving for info, I got some bad news yesterday.
Kind of.
It's bad in a sense that something could turn out very badly.
Or everything could be ok.
And since it involves something extremely important to me, I just can't feel very optimistic about the whole situation.
But you know, i've got to just wait it out.
See what happens.
All that jazz.
In the meantime, i'm fasting until I get a phone call back with hopefully good news.

On a lighter note, work is going well.
I'm meeting more people, and I think my "stalker" really is just trying to be friendly I guess.
I think he for sure has some kind of mental disability since he was playing peek-a-boo with me with his hat today, so i'll just try and be nice and be friends.
Even if the staring and smiling does kind of creep me out.
My legs are starting to hurt super bad towards the ends of my shifts and i'm hoping that goes away soon.
I've just been so lazy for the past few months, my muscles have totally atrophied.
I hope I get my own register soon though.
I just feel like it must be so boring for the people i'm training with!
I learn really fast, i've already memorized most of the main codes.
I know how to do almost everything.
I hardly ever have questions or concerns.
I just to the whole thing while my "trainer" just stands behind me and loads stuff into carts.
But oh well.
I'm sure all the extra help will pay off.
I don't want to like, freeze as soon as I do actually have a register of my own.

Oh!
Also!
If any of you have a Sams Club membership and love Harry Potter!
They're selling a special anniversary edition of the first book, and even though it's just the first book, it's SO nice!
I couldn't help myself and bought one.
It's a good size, hard back, with a new picture on the cover.
The pages are like super nice.
I'm not sure what they're made out of.
It's like a nice paper/plastic combo.
Anyways, there's a color picture inside and J.K. Rowlings original drawing of Snape, and maybe i'm just a Harry Potter fanatic, but I love it!

Anyway, i'll stop trying to sell stuff to y'all.
Haha.

I'm not sure if i'll see Brad anytime before Wednesday, which pretty much REALLY sucks.
I haven't seen him since last night, and it already feels like so long!

Well, what else can I say?
I'm EXTREMELY poor.
So i'm hoping that paychecks go out this week and not next week, no matter how small mine might be.
Especially since I haven't paid tithing all year!
And, well, I obviously need to do that soon if the whole Temple Marriage thing is gonna work out.
Lol.
Besides about 200 in tithing, i've got two speeding tickets (Yes. I said TWO. Am I not the most unlucky driver ever?!?!), a car insurance payment in a little over a week, 200 for rent, and gas money since i'm almost empty!
I don't even know what i'm going to do.

Brad, maybe we SHOULD invest in that vending machine!
:D

Cause another day without you is another lifeless one

BRIGHTWOOD!!!!!!!!
Brad and I drove two and a half hours out to Twin Falls to see them last night.
We stopped by the Twin Falls Temple for a bit.
And we got some Mickey Ds.
But then the concert started.
And it was absolutely incredibly amazing.
Sure, the concert was in this little shed off of some dirt road in this podunk town...
And sure the first band that played was just not good...
And sure the whole place smelled like yucky fish...
But Brightwood was SO GOOD.
Like, I felt like I was listening to their CD.
And because it was such a small "venue," we were up close and personal!
I mean, Brad and I TALKED to Stephen!
And I shook his hand!
And he asked us what our names were!
And we stood in their midst!
And I got my CD autographed by all four of them!!
It was incredible.
Beyond incredible.
And they even played "Sit Still."
Which, well, you know, is my favorite song of all time.
I would have liked to stick around afterwards and chat with them, but it was pretty late, and both Brad and I had to wake up early, so we left.
We drove home listening to Brightwood, my head still spinning from them and all their amazingness.

P.S. We had to turn onto KIMBERLY road to get to the street the concert was on!
Sweet, right?!

Wanna be in my club?

So, technically, today was my first day of work as an associate at Sams Club.
I'm a cashier, though still in the whole "orientation/training" process.
6/12 hours a day for three days of endless paperwork and trivial quiz-type computer things.
But hey, at least i'm getting paid training!
Anyways, hopefully I will start ASAP.
I spent my last two dollars today.
On a very delicious chocolate milkshake in the Sam's Club cafe, by the way.
I would recommend them.
Anyways, I had 22 dollars this morning, spent 20 on gas (which I paid 2.99 for but of course was down to 2.97 by the time I was driving home) and then the two bucks as my pseudo-lunch since I hadn't eaten anything at all.
Anyways, I get free membership to Sams Club, which I included Brad on, and I get 10% of all produce, which is good because I need to eat more fruits and veggies anyways.
All in all, I think I will like this job.
Most of the people are pretty nice, the food in the cafe is yummy, and I love shopping at Sams/Costco type places, so a free membership will be nice.
I can also get life insurance and health insurance and all that jazz if I stay for a year, but I don't know if I will.
Once I move to Rexburg, that's be a 30 minute commute.
No fun.
Though I could always just transfer to Walmart in Rexburg.
it's a bit of a pay decrease, but you can't get much lower from 8.20 anyways.

Other than that, life is wonderful of course.
The wedding announcements are officially printed out, my mom should be getting them on Friday, and everyone should start getting them in the mail next week!

Brad is here doing his homework.
He probably should have stayed at his apartment to do it.
He always gets so distracted over here.
I guess we just can't stand being apart for very long!
Anyways, I think i'm going to watch some more Boy Meets World episodes while Brad works.

P.S. I'm seriously craving ice cream, but we have none.
And we have nothing to make shakes or smoothies or anything.
And I have no money.

I've had the weirdest and STRONGEST cravings lately!
It's kind of annoying.
I dunno.
Anyways, I am going now.
Adios!

I'm Alive

I haven't blogged in a few days.
I know.
I guess not much has really happened.

I finished designing the wedding announcements and getting MY list of addresses, so hopefully those can be in the mail soon.

I finally got around to charging up my palm pilot, so i've been playing Village Sim like crazy.

Jenna and Travis were in town this weekend.
It was nice to go out to Craigos with them, though poor Riley broke her collarbone.
:(

I spend pretty much every available moment with Brad, obviously.
39 days, man!

I tried to go to church today, so I showed up at the building at the right time and not only did I not see any singles, but the family ward that was also meeting had no idea where the singles branch met.
So I ended up sitting on a couch and reading the Joesph Smith book for a good hour and a half before finally just going home.

It hasn't been TOO cold this week, which is nice.
If it stays like this for a while, i'll be ok.

I can move into Brad and I's apartment in exactly one month!

Sams Club hasn't called me back and i'm starting to get a little worried.
I'll call tomorrow and see what's up.

I saw Barcelona on Friday and they were AMAZING.

Brightwood this Thursday!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Can you sense my immense excitement?!

There is NOTHING to cook in this house, and nothing to even cook with!
There is one saucepan.
One spatula.
About 12 mixing bowls.
And a George Foreman.
The kitchen depresses me and I can't wait till I have one of my own!
(That I would share with Brad of course. Lol.)

I made this pasta for lunch that wasn't half bad, considering what I had to work with.
I cook up some angel hair pasta in just some boiling water and salt.
Then poured in some olive oil, some lemon juice, and this rosemary/garlic mixture that Karen had in the cupboard.
Good enough to eat, not good enough to feed to anyone but yourself.
Lol.

My car needs new windshield wipers.



Anyway, i'll stop boring you with my mindless babble.
I'll try and think of more interesting things to blog about, yeah?
Till then!
:D

Too Tired

I'M not very tired, but boy are my eyes tired!
I guess after spending the morning reading paperwork, then watching two movies with Brad, looking at his laptop screen, watching actual TV (which I never do) and now going on my lappy, my eyes have had some serious strain on them today.
Not to mention I slept in them last night, though not really on purpose.

Anyways, I won't write much.
Just that as soon as my drug test and background check go through, I will officially be working as a part-time cashier at Sam's Club.
While I would have liked to work full-time (more moolah!), it's probably better this way.
They didn't have any full-time open anyways.
And I really do like having a lot of extra time to work on wedding stuff and be able to just hang out with Brad.
So i'm sure part-time will be good.
I mostly just need this job right now to pay off that darn speeding ticket!
If it didn't exist, I would have enough money to last me till i'm married.
But oh well.

Anyways, that's about it.
I might post a couple more pictures tomorrow or something.
We'll see.
Night!

Fine!

Ok, to satisfy the impatience of my relatives, future relatives (Jenna), and my besties, here's a couple of the engagement pictures.
As suspected, I hated about 90% of them, but some of them were actually pretty cute.
I didn't want to put up a whole lot, so here's a little snack.
And obviously, Brad and I have fun photoshopping.
:D

Taggered.

Jenna tagged me.
AGAIN.

8 TV shows I love to watch

1. Boy Meets World. I've seen every episode of this show more times than I can count and I still love it with all of my heart!!
2. The Office. I'm a little ashamed of this one for two reasons. First, it's actually really dumb. And second, EVERYONE likes it. And I tend to hate conformoty. Lol. But, I love Jim and Pam. They are the reason I watch this show!
3. Smallville. Not only is the show just amazing, but Tom Welling.... oh baby.
4. Law and Order:SVU. You wouldn't think that I would enjoy watching a show about detectives looking for rapists and sexual abusers, but it's just so intense and good!
5. House. I think I mostly like this show because i'm a bit of a hypochondriac, so I get to see all these symptoms for really weird and out there diseases. And then I convince myself that I have these diseases. Lol.
6. Monk. Though I don't watch TV like, ever, I do like to watch this show when I get a chance. Monk is just freaking amazing!
7. Psyche. Absolutely hilarious. Enough said.
8. I don't watch enough TV to choose an eighth one!

8 Things that happened yesterday

1. I sat around.
2. Cleaned my room.
3. Ate a Lean Cuisine.
4. Almost froze to death.
5. Registered at Bed, Bath and Beyond with Brad.
6. Had some Pita Pit.
7. Tried to watch a movie.
8. Made out. Lol.

8 Favorite places to eat

1. Mimi's Cafe. They have the most amazing Bran Muffin my taste buds have ever encountered.
2. McDonalds. And i'm not ashamed. The Big and Tasty is my favorite hamburger, their fries are totally yummy, and McFlurries are way good.
3. Red Robin. They have this Teryaki Chicken Sandwich thing that is to DIE for. You can't go wrong with chicken, teryaki sauce, and grilled pineapple.
4. Olive Garden. Salad and breadsticks.
5. Home Town Buffet. Because seriously, you are ALWAYS bound to find something you like.
6. Golden Corral. YUMMY YUMMY YUMMY rolls!!! Seriously!
7. Carl's Jr. Not only are their burgers and sandwiches totally worth the 5 bucks you have to pay for them, but I got fat off of their chocolate shakes, with how delicious they are.
8. Del Taco. While it's not REAL real Mexican food, I have to say it's better. Everything is so good, and really cheap too, so you can eat a butt load and spend less than 5 bucks!

8 Things I am looking forward to

1. November 26th. Wedding day. :D
2. Thanksgiving in Vegas with all my close friends and family.
3. Finally living somewhere for more than a couple months AND having it be a place that I can really call my own!
4. Having children? Lol.
5. The Brightwood concert next week in Twin Falls!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
6. Next summer! No more snow!
7. Living with Brad forever!
8. Winning the lottery and buying a seat on the Virgin Galactic space flights.

8 Things on my wishlist

1. Lots of money
2. A new car. Mine is pretty much crap.
4. A way to control the weather.
5. Romney in the White House.
6. For my little sister to seriously stop stealing my clothes. I know that sounds so lame, but she takes the things I need! Like my leggings, that I would REALLY like to be able to wear under my clothes since it's so freaking cold up here. Or my favorite scarf. I mean really, the coldest it gets down there in DHS is like, 50 degrees!
7. Gorgeous children. Though I don't really have to worry about that. :)
8. Winter clothes. I wasn't exactly planning on living in Idaho during the WINTER.

8 people I tag

1. Michael
2. Laura
3. Sara
4. Kevin
5. Ernesto
6. Anna
7. Jeni
8. Nicole

It isn't too hard to see we're in heaven.

Man, eff long engagements.
I don't know how people do it.
I can barely wait the month and a half that I have left to marry Brad!
I just want to wake up next to him every single morning.

In other, still related, news, Brad and I registered at Bed, Bath, and Beyond yesterday.
I know that people hardly ever actually get things off of their registries, but it's still tons of fun to just pick out what you want and imagine what you want your home to look like!
Plus, it really does give us, or more me since Brad doesn't care, ideas about what kind of things we both like and need.
Which is good.
Also, we had put a deposit down for an apartment in University Courtyard, but they only had unfurnished ones left.
However, we got put on a list for a furnished one, and sure enough, we got one.
Which is good, because the extent of my furniture is two pink lamps, some kitchen appliances, and, umm... that's about it.
Brad has even less than me.
Lol.

Well, we had the first snow of Winter today in IF.
Which I was not so thrilled about.
Have I mentioned that I truly dislike snow?
Sure, it's fun to play in sometimes and maybe look at.
But I HATE the cold.
I hate when it gets everything wet.
And icey.
And you slip on your butt.
And it leaves the streets looking all nasty.
As well as all the cars.
And I could go on and on.
But I might as well stop complaining and just try to get used to it.
I've got to live in Idaho for at least another year, which means lots and lots of snow for me to acclimate to.
Bleh.

I think I left "Hairspray" at my parents house.
I'm gonna give my parents a list of the crap I left behind and see if they can bring it up with them when they go to Utah in the next couple weeks.

I think that's about it.
I've just been babbling.
I have nothing else to do but blog.
But i've run out of ideas.
Maybe i'll finish "Heroes" season 2, so I can start watching season 3.
Hopefully Brad will get here soon.

Put your hand there, tilt your head, turn around, look up...

Have I ever told you how I don't like taking "professional pictures"?
You know, the kind you actually pose for and try and look good?
Ever since I was in elementary school, I think starting with my 5th grade school picture, I have looked like crap in every formal picture i've tried to take.
This includes every school photo AND my senior picture.
Pictures for dances, including senior prom.
Those cheesy pictures you take at the mall with your friends.
Pictures to be put in the programs for the three plays I was in.
Pictures for freaking girls camp!
And those aren't even formal-type settings.
Those are just pictures where you have to stand/sit there and smile.
And smile.
And you hold your stinking smile for like, half a minute or more before the camera finally clicks.
And then you release.
And you feel like an idiot for smiling at some little machine for a minute.
And me, well, I discovered something a little while back.
If I can make myself laugh, my smile looks more natural and these pictures can actually look ok.
Problem is, when you're taking an engagement picture, and you're standing in an awkward position in a tree for a few minutes, and you're trying to have a real smile....
You don't want to be up there laughing for no reason while everyone looks at you like you're either insane or there's some squirrel in the tree tickling you.
Which brings me to the whole reason for this blog post.
Engagement pictures.
Brad and I had some taken yesterday.
And while it was totally sweet of the girl to take them for us, I just don't enjoy these kinds of things where you stand in one position forever while someone with a camera is getting closer and farther away from your face and you have to keep holding your smile and your leg starts to shake because it's cold outside and you can't move because the picture hasn;'t been taken yet and you're trying to not let your fiance know how much all of this bugs you because you know he wants these nice pictures taken and took it upon himself to even set up the little photo shoot and....
Bleh.
Long run-on sentence.
Anyways, I had come full of crazy random ideas of things to and chickened out on bringing them up.
I just feel like they would have worked better in a more casual setting, I guess.
What I really want is to just run around the park and do stupid, dumb stuff and just play while someone just snaps photos of us really quickly, like we were all just friends hanging out at the park, and one friend pops out their camera and starts snapping pictures and it's all fun and funny and easy and...
I'm starting to sound dumb.

Ok.
I'll just stay positive.
I'm sure some of the pictures will look good.
And everything will work out and be fine.
I don't know why i'm even worried about this stuff.
Maybe it's because I want someone to open up our wedding announcement and smile and possibly laugh a little at our silly pictures, then open up our wedding announcement and be all "Oh. This picture looks pretty forced. Hmm."
Ok.
I'll shut up now.
Bleh.
Gah.

Hair dye, Doritos, and Mel Gibson.

One of the first big things that made me realize that I was in love with Brad was the fact that I never get tired of him.
I could hang out with him every second, of every day, and do absolutely nothing the whole time and never get bored.

Today was tons of fun.
Brad drove down to IF and we chilled for a little bit before heading over to Walmart.
There, we bought hair dye for me AND hair dye for him, a couple new flavors of Doritos, a five dollar movie, and cheddar cheese rice cakes..
Pretty much 4 of my favorite things ever.
Though the rice cakes were for Brad, since I got him addicted. :)

Anyways, then we came back and messed around online for a bit.
Ate some of the Doritos, (we ate the 4 Cheese ones, which weren't half bad).
Then we put in "What Women Want," which is the move I had just bought.
We cuddled and watched the movie and Brad would kiss me whenever people were making out in the movie, which was pretty funny.
Then the next half hour or so is TMI for my blog.
Lol.
Then we dyed our hair!
Mine's a little darker than I wanted it to be, just a medium brown, but Brad's looks so good!
It's a dark brown and I think it makes him look younger.
Then Brad was working on some school stuff until around 10, when he had to leave and go back to Rexburg to work on a group project.
It's always sad to see him leave, but i'll see him again tomorrow, and after November 26th, i'll see him every day and night forever!
And i'll never get bored of him!
:D


In other news, my mom called me with some way exciting news.
We had a random conversation one time about cake toppers, and I had mentioned how cool it would be to have a Barbie and Ken on top of my wedding cake!
And alas, she found the perfect one and it came in the mail today!
I'm so stinking excited, you have no idea!!!
The best part is, it's actually a Christmas tree ornament, so we can keep it afterwards and put it on our tree every year as a little reminder of our wedding.
<3

Mix CD or Jigsaw Puzzle?

Not that many people actually read my blog, but in any case, sorry for not updating for a few days.
I was in Utah all weekend with Brad, staying at Jenna's house.
And Brad wrote all the details in his blog.
So i'll spare you all the details for fear or repetition.
And my plain laziness.

So anyways, happy news!
I got my camera back yesterday!!!
So expect billions and gillions of pictures to appear on my Facebook and on here!

Rather than looking for jobs today, which I know I SHOULD be doing, i'm going to do something else.
Wedding stuff!
I'm gonna head over to Michaels in a bit and look at some stuff for my mom.
Then I might head over to the post office and check on postage for my two invitation ideas.
Then I dunno.
I'll just see where the wind blows me.

The one thing that sucks:
I HATE doing things by myself.
I know that seems contradictory to my general nature, because i'm usually rather independent.
But when it comes to driving places and doing things, I just don't like to do it alone.
This may sound lame, but my dad took me to the dentist last month, and he wanted to just drop me off and pick me up later, but I hated it.
I made him go inside with me and help me check in.
THEN I let him leave.
Which still wasn't fun.
I don't know why I can't just be normal and be an adult, but I just can't!
That sounds bad considering i'm getting married in 7 weeks, but oh well.
That's what Brad is for.
:D

Time Square can't shine as bright as you.

I was going to blog yesterday, but I was so busy job hunting/driving to Rexburg/hanging out with Brad/watching Smallville that I completely forgot.
Not that there is much to write anyways.
I'm engaged.
I'm the happiest i've ever been.

Yesterday, after I got back from Rexburg, I was sitting in my room at my desk, looking out at the park that is outside my window, listening to Brightwood, drinking cold light lemonade, and spinning the ring on my finger and I think that the euphoria I experienced at that precise moment was indescribable.

I'm heading into Utah for the weekend.
Going to a mission reunion with Brad.
Who knows, maybe i'll see some missionaries I recognize!
Lol.
Then we're watching conference at Jenna's house in Orem.
Should be a pretty fun weekend.
:D

These are the best days of our lives

So yeah, as i'm sure half the world had heard by now, Brad and I are engaged!

And since everyone and their mom's (literally!) has been asking, here's how it all went down:

I'm chillin in my room in Idaho Falls.
I was a little tired of unpacking and what not, so I was just sitting on my computer and texting Brad.
Well, he asked me if I wanted to go to dinner tomorrow night at Carinos, so I said yes.
Then, turns out, he forgot he had a frisbee game tomorrow night, so he decided to drive out to IF tonight for dinner.
So, he comes and picks me up and we drive over to Carinos.
We ate way yummy food and just kind of held hands and enjoyed each others company.
After we left, we stopped by the Idaho Falls temple and decided to walk around the grounds.
We come to this little bench that is actually kind of randomly placed in the middle of the grass, and we sat down.
After I made some comments about how the bench made my butt cold, Brad asked if I remember when we first met.
So we exchanged our perspectives on the meeting and what we thought of each other, which was kind of funny.
Then he just ups and gets down on his knees in front of me, told me he loved me, pulled a ring out from his pocket, and popped the question.
Obviously I said yes and then we proceeded to kiss.
Then we came back here and just hung out for a few hours.
Took some pictures.
Texted 80 billion people.
Kissed. A lot.
And he left just a few minutes ago.
I love my fiance.
<3

101

Well, I got into Rexburg yesterday around 7ish.
Hung out with Brad in the Hinckley as he was doing church-related things.
Then went and saw Eagle Eye, which was actually pretty good!
Though I was expecting it to be.
Then came over to Ana's, stayed up till after 3 talking, then finally fell asleep.
The big plans for today:
Lunch with my brother.
Take Ana to get a new battery for her scooter.
Go by my storage unit and get out some things i'm gonna wanna take with me to my new place.
Then head down to Idaho Falls and move into my room.
I'm pretty excited.
:D

Oh, p.s. ALWAYS watch your speed.
Even when you don't think cops are around.
Because they might just be lurking there, undercover in a cute little muscle car with racing stripes.
And they might just pull you ever for going 101 in a 75 zone because you were too busy listening to Harry Potter to notice the speedometer.
And they might just give you a $232 speeding ticket.
And you might just have to tell everyone who reads your blog not to spill the beans to anyone, because a speeding ticket is the last thing you'll want your parents to hear about as they're helping you pay for and plan your wedding.

When the sun goes down in the universe...

The title is something unique to me.
Something that possibly only a handful of people ever heard about, but none of which probably remember.
I wrote a song in about the 6th grade.
It has a couple verses, a chorus a bridge.
It had a basic melody and I had even started to compose a little bit on the piano.
After a few months, I gave up on it, throwing away the lyrics somewhere and frustrated with my inability to even play the piano, let alone write an accompanying melody on it for my song.
Since 6th grade however, I hum the tune often.
In fact, I hum it at least once a week, if not 4 or 5 days a week.
I only remember parts of the chorus, none of the verses, and the simple melody to the chorus.
But the words I remember go something like this:
And when the sun goes down in the universe,
And my heart stops beating in every verse,
And love and life start to just reverse,
I'll stop needing you
Seeing you
Loving you

As often as these words and simple tune enter my head, I never thought much about them.
When I wrote the song, I was a love sick 11 year old, hoping to find my true love in the cafeteria of Desert Springs Middle School.
As the years went on, I continues in my journey, looking for someone to fit these few lines I had written, but never really finding it.
My junior year of high school, I thought I had found him.
That boy who crossed the impossible.
Who I never thought I would stop loving until the day that God ceased to exist.
And yet I did.
I did stop loving him.
And yet life moved on.

As I was casually humming this tune today, it hit me hard.
The melody.
The words.
The meaning.
That person who I was always looking for, I was always in love with already.
I knew what it was that I needed in life, and I have always been in love with the idea of it.
When I finally found someone that seemed to fit that "mold" that I had been in love with my whole life, I was in serious denial for a long time.
Honestly, I was in denial for almost the entire time that we were dating.
Most of me didn't think that this could be that perfect fit.
This couldn't be that one puzzle piece that seemed to have disappeared over the years.
Yet part of me, a very hidden and sub-conscious part of me knew, really KNEW that he fit my song.
He would be that one person that I could never fall out of love with.
And when I finally decided to embrace that small part of me, it all came zooming out!
It was like an ocean of emotion from most of my life, swelled up inside of me.
It was all that love that I had already stored up for my perfect match, and it just came spilling out.
The sun will never set in the universe.
My heart will never stop believing in this simple song that I wrote.
My love and my life will never reverse, because I know what my goals are and I know where I am headed.
I will never stop needing him.
I will never stop seeing him.
I will never stop loving you, Brad.

They never said life would be easy...

Why is it so freaking DIFFICULT for me to just get over this?
Why can't I get past it?
Why can't these stupid feelings have gone away already?
I wish more than anything that I could erase parts of my memory.
Then I could stop driving home crying.
Or throwing my phone across the room.
Or punching my pillow while cursing at myself!

I need to get away.
This is what my parents don't understand about me not wanting to live here in town with them.
I can't take it.
Sometimes to get over something, you just need to completely remove yourself.
Burn all bridges.
Cut all ties.
Detach myself from what once was.
And being here isn't helping that.
It doesn't help when I drive past his house.
Or when his mom stops me at the grocery store.
Or when an old acquaintance assumes I might know how he's doing and what he's been up to.
I can't handle it.
No matter how well I can compose myself and act like everything is ok, the second i'm alone, I let loose.
And it's driving me nuts.
And I thought that with repentance, with deleting his number, by ignoring his invites...
Things might be solved.
But they aren't.
Thank goodness I'll be in Idaho on Tuesday.
Thank goodness he'll be in Iraq on Tuesday.
I really don't think that these mental breakdowns are good for me.

Pity a woman alone with limited wind.

Well today was quite an adventure!
Without going into too much detail, since i know Brad will read this and i'm trying to be sneaky, lets just say that I did some "shopping" with my mom and found something that is completely amazing and i'm excited to buy it once I actually have some money.
Other than that, not much really happened.
Had an eye appt, only to confirm my blindness, up my prescription, get new contacts, and get my glasses straightened!
Drove out to Vista for the "shopping" and was there for about an hour.
Drove down to San Diego to pick up all my stuff from Jeni's place.
Got some Carls Jr.
Then got some A&W.
Then came home.

I am SO SICK of moving, it's not even funny.
I hate the looks of suitcases.
I hate folded clothing.
I hate small travel shampoos.
I hate it!
Gah!
I just want to settle down somewhere for a while.
At least a month or two!
Geesh!
Sad thing is, after bringing all my stuff back from Jeni's today (after moving it all out there two weeks ago), i've got to pack it all back in my car on Monday, drive up to Idaho, only to unload it all again.
THEN, i'll probably have to pack up all over again a few months later.
It's all too much for me.
I need stability for a little bit!
Please?!

Anyways, i'm way tired.
And I need to go take a shower.
And I need to read "Eragon" before Sunday so I can give it back to David.
I haven't even started it yet.
Lol.
Adios for now Muchachos!

Find glory beyond the cheap colored lights.

Three significant things happened today.

1. I realized just how important it is to cut some people out of your life, because when they try and sneak back in, it hurts. It really, really, really hurts.

2. I tried on my older sister's wedding dress for kicks and giggles. And if you don't understand why that is significant for me at this moment in time, you should get to know me better!

3. Smallville and The Office. Smallville = INTENSE! I can't wait for the rest of the season. You don't even know. The Office = So funny! I feel like if I took bits from each character and story line and stuck them together, they would describe my life right now. Especially the lemonade diet. And maybe the gas station in the rain. Lol.

About to FALL into IDAHO

Well, it's official.
I will be in moving to Idaho Falls next Wednesday around 5:30 p.m.
I will be living with a single mom and her two kids.
I'm driving up to Idaho on Tuesday.
I'll probably leave from San Diego Monday, then stay the night at my parents on Monday night.
Then i'll probably leave DHS and start heading up there really early, like maybe 4 or 5 in the morning.
Hopefully i'll be in Rexburg by 10 or 11.
Then i'll stay the night up there.
Gather my stuff from storage, then head down to Idaho Falls on Wednesday.
I'm pretty stinkin' excited!
I'm considering leaving on Monday morning instead and making some stops on the way up there.
Maybe visit my cousin in Orem or my other cousins in Alpine.
Then I could stay the night in Utah somewhere and head up to Idaho on Tuesday morning.
Then I could spend tuesday hanging out with people!
But I don't know. We'll see.
:D

Tagged..... again?!

Taggin’ It Up Rules

1: Each player starts with 8 habits or facts about themselves.

2: People who are tagged need to write a post on their blog about their eight things and post these rules.

3: At the end of the post you need to choose 8 people to get tagged and list their names.

1. I was walking along the beach in La Paz, Mexico and a coconut fell from a tree and barely missed my head. I took it home to California and planted it in the backyard.

2. I constantly fidget.

3. I tend to start walking on my left foot, and walk in step to any beat that can be heard (thanks a lot Coble).

4. Oliver Twist is my favorite book and I would give anything to live in that time period.

5. I lick my lips. A LOT.

6. I used to kick guys in the crotch and slap them for fun when I was in the 5th grade.

7. I ditched class more often than a lot of the school's potheads, and still graduated with straight A's.

8. I made out with my hand at girl's camp one summer. It was late at night and everyone was doing it!

Now, for the tagging.

I think I will skip tagging anyone, simply because I just did one of these, what, yesterday? and tagged people in that one.

:D

Bipolar Moving Disorder

I just moved down to San Diego two Friday's ago.
I was there for one week.
Then had to come home to sell some textbooks and make some money.
I planned on leaving the next day, but got stuck into staying here for a week.
So i'm here till Friday.
I was planning on going back to San Diego friday night and staying there for quite a while.
Now, let me just say that everyday for the past couple months, i've been looking for some place to live up in Rexburg.
And of course, now is when I finally find something.
I would move in next Wednesday if I do move up there.
So, once again, i'm at a crossroads.
My parents still want me to stay in Desert Hot Springs, and I even had a job offer, sort of, to work with the city.
All my stuff and my best friend is down in San Diego, and I even had my church records transferred down there and told everyone in the ward that I had just moved in.
I've got an affordable place to live in Rexburg, a majority of my possesions are up there, my brother wants me up there, and well, lets face it, the main reason is because Brad is up there.
I wish I could just make a decision and stick to it.
I'm so indecisive!
I was talking to one of my older sisters on the phone the other day and she told me that she had recently been diagnosed with ADD.
She was telling me the symptoms, and i'm almost positive I have ADD as well.
And this isn't just my hypochondriac side coming out, because i'm ALWAYS saying I have some disease or something, but this time it's really for real.
Anyways, that was a bit of a tangent.
I'm gonna talk to my dad about it when he gets home tonight and hopefully make an actual decision.
If it's a, "move to Idaho" decision, i'll be calling the landlord tomorrow and setting things up, then emailing back the girl who will be my roomie and getting everything sorted out there.
Then probably just drive straight up on maybe Tuesday.
Stay the night with Ana in her apartment.
Then move in on Wednesday.
Job hunting on Thursday, Friday, everyday until I find a job.
Then be happy and content with my life.
Lol.
Sound like a good plan?

The RULES 1. Link the person who tagged you --- Jenna 2. Post these rules. 3. Tell about 6 unspectacular quirks of yours. 4. Tag 6 fellow bloggers by linking them.

6 Unspectacular Quirks...

1. I have three completely separate personalities, and I like to keep it that way. One is how I act around people I have known for years and year. I am extremely talkative, very funny, I do random dances and sing songs loudly and act like i'm 9 years old. My second personality is my "professional" one. The one I have when around employers, teachers, and people I just meet. I smile a lot, use my large vocabulary, make jokes at the right times, and say all the right things. My third personality is my favorite, and generally most common. It's the actual me. The, sit around and not do much me. I get into big conversations, but mostly listen to the other person talk. I smile a lot, but not constantly. I'm sarcastic and witty, but am not especially outgoing. I know people say that you should always be yourself around everyone, but I like having three different "me's."

2. I like things to look well-used and old. My lappy (laptop) is only a year old, and it already looks like i've had to for years. I don't like when things are months old but look brand new. I'm not sure why, but it just bugs me! Talk about a strange quirk...

3. I never stay mad for long. Seriously. As hard as it is to get me mad in the first place, you'd think that after so much effort, I would stay mad for a while. But I really don't. I think I've just been through so much crap, that if I did actually hold grudges, I would be so weighed down right now, it would be ridiculous. Which is why I learned to just let things go and forgive. Reflecting on who I am as a person, I would say this is probably my best quality.

4. I am terrified of crickets. Yes, the little relatives of grasshoppers that make that eerie, ear-splitting, high-pitched noise at night. I have been scared of them for my entire life, and despite my efforts, I don't think I will ever get over this fear. One day, you all will read some news story about some human who was eaten alive by these little monsters, and everyone who told me crickets were harmless will be put to shame.

5. Once you get to know me, you might be surprised that I actually really dislike social situations. I hate going to party's or events with a lot of people I don't know, as well as being in small groups where I only know one or two people. It makes me very uncomfortable and I avoid these situations as much as possible. I would MUCH rather be in a huge group with a majority of people I already know, or being in a small group where I only DON'T know one or two people, but I know everyone else. I'm kind of anti-social in this aspect, but I don't mind. I stick to people I know, and that's all.

6. Despite my obsession with the color pink and my generally colorful and bubbly personality, I don't like wearing colored clothing. I love to wear blacks, grays, browns, and white. Deep reds and blues are ok sometimes, but I love just the basic, kind of neutral tones. Friends and family will try to buy clothes for me, and while I appreciate it, the bright pink shirts just aren't me. With this, since i'm already on number 6, I don't really wear accessories. I was big into jewelery and belts and the like in my early teens, but as time wore on and as I grew up, I kind of left that all behind. If I actually wear jewelry, it's generally just one simple necklace, maybe some small diamond stud earrings, and perhaps a CTR ring. I just don't like to feel cluttered. I much prefer plain and simple.

Now, for the tagging.
Since i'm kind of a social blogging newbie (I've been blogging for years, but it's always been private), I don't have many blogging friends. And since Jenna already tagged Brad, this makes it harder.
So hmm...

Michael
Laura
Kevin
Sara
Jeni
Nicole

Dinner time? Or Talk about Kim time?

My stomach is always so darn FULL after dinner with my family.
Which only contributes to me wanting to stay here in town for another day.
Full stomach = Tired.
Sunburn = Tired.
Nighttime = Tired.
I don't even like to blink while I drive, let alone risk falling asleep.
And there's nothing for me to go back to!
An empty apartment during the day, and disappointment from the lack of a job.
From the lack of even an interview!
Talked to Teresa today, my niece Zara's other grandmother.
She works for the City of Desert Hot Springs and said she might be able to get me a job down at city hall.
Just lots of busy work type stuff, which is just fine with me!
If I get a job here, I guess it won't be too hard to pack everything up from San Diego and come back.
Since pretty all my stuff is STILL packed since there's no room for my stuff anywhere.
I'm sure Jeni will be disappointed, but what else can I do?!
I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place and don't have many prospects for getting out for a while.
The only thing that keeps me going is knowing that I will be in Idaho come January.
I'll have a place to live, a good-paying job, all of my possessions again (since it's all in storage up there), a couple of my best friends, and Brad!
And finally after months of feeling lame and pathetic, I will have a life again!

Huntington Beach!

Beach today!
My hands are sunburned, so I won't type much, but i'll put up some pictures!
But here's a short rundown of the day:
Left around 8 am.
Wendy's for breakfast.
Singing and pictures in the car.
Laying on the beach.
Getting smacked by waves,.
Chris and I both got fully buried in sand.
No pictures of it unfortunately.
We all got sunburned way bad.
Nate the worst probably.
Walked the beach and up and down the pier.
Had shakes, shaved ice for me.
Then left around 3ish.
Stopped at In-N-Out for dinner.
Flashed some buses full of Marines on the way home.
It was way fun!